401 – OK, this is going to be a long talk…

Dang it, Becky, you are missing out on a prime multiclassing opportunity here!

See you all next week,

~Rob

21 Comments

“You seem to be under the mistaken assumption that it’s you mortals that get to choose whether you’ll be paladins rather than us. Don’t worry, nothing in the code of conduct says you have to be chaste or have a tentpole inserted into your nether regions, however many may try to interpret it that way. As long as you’re up front about what you want rather than being a lying, cheating scumbag, your personal life is your own. Any other concerns?”

“And Don’t Foget the Health Benefits. All that divine power your missing out on.”

“Oh, and the other “perks.” Got an undead problem? We got your back. That one guy that just likes to keep pressing your buttons? We got a special on righteous wrath.”

That and every now and again, your personal god -might- save your bacon, when you roll particularly badly. Had that happen. I’d already killed off one character on accident, and scrambled to roll up another character, only to roll SPECTACULARLY badly (dropped my own axe on my foot and CRITed!) and killed her off! LOL

See I have always subscribed to the idea that Paladins follow the alignment and ideals of their Deity,….. if Morridin likes to drink but draws the line at drunkenness then you are ok having a drink,..if he like to oogle women but remains loyal to his wife then Chasity is not an issue,… if he is loud and boastful but draws the line at lies then you are ok,…. Lawful can vary depending on whose laws,…Good is in the eye of the Deity as it were,….

Don’t do it, Becky. Don’t do it! GMs and players love to shaft the paladin. You know what happens to those paladin levels then? You’re a fighter without feats. A fighter without feats!

Becky, I’d like to introduce you to Bahzell Bahnakson [http://www.baenebooks.com/p-297-oath-of-swords.aspx]. He’s not a dwarf, and Morridin doesn’t even operate in his continua, but you seem to be parallelling his course. You could do worse than to learn from his lesson.

But don’t read it now. After you take care of Disparoxus and Day’l you may have time to read four novels and a short story.

Assuming, that is, that you dwarf up, accept the help being offered, and lay some Divine Damage where it’ll do the most good!

(BTW, ignore Spammy. I’ve seen no evidence that Rob is that sort of GM, or that the players of you companions are that sort of player.)

Bah, ignore the voice of experience. It’ll end in tears and much swearing I tells ya.

Becky should hold out until Morry starts talking “level conversion”….hey, if Blackguard get to do it, why not pallys?

Dwarves are known for being a mite hard-headed about things, but if you hit them in the head with a BIG hammer, you might have a chance…

You may as well go for paladin. You should be able to out drink anyone after that with a clense ability at your command. Cleanse poison out of your self since alcohol is a poison it should work.

Waitaminute, doesn’t that blood have to be donated willingly?? Will it work if it’s not?!?

“Tough taco. You are NOW.”

I don’t want to be known as a Paladin. Generates too many preconceptions about being pretentious and good-two-shoes… how about “Dwarven Fighter Chick with a big F***in’ Hammer ’bout to lay down some righteous F***in’ Fury on yo’ Demonic B**** A**!!”? No? How about “Dwarven Fighter Chick going through a class related identity crisis?”

Gods are funny things….. They can’t always exactly act directly. Not even upon their followers. But, they CAN drop obstacles and personal and spiritual challenges in their followers lives to guide and direct and nudge them in the direction of the destiny they have desire for them, using said followers own moral momentum towards said end thanks to decisions they KNOW they’ll make until they decide to be what their god or goddess wants to be, inevitably. So if Morridin wants Becky to be a paladin? She’s gonna be a paladin. Whether she realizes she chooses to be or not. Heck, dwarves are crafty (hur hur hur). She may end up a paladin BECAUSE of her decision and efforts not to be. IT’S MIND BOTTLING!!!!!

Truly a marvel of Illithid culinary skill, the art of gourmet mind bottling.

Ok Becky, so you don’t want to be called a paladin. Would you settle for “Champion of Morridin”?

There are very few Deities you can haggle with,..Dwarven and Gnomish being the general two I can come up with off the top of my head. So maybe Becky can bargain with him,….lol

So, what exactly? Does she agree to be a paladin on the third week of every fourth month or something like that?

Becky “go for the Clothes”, he will probably throw in some armor too.

No, go for the “Summon Holy Hammer”. Then test it out ^_^

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MeatShield by Rob Chambers

Bi-Weekly D&D-style Fantasy Hijinks!

401 – OK, this is going to be a long talk…