275 – I really have to learn Orcish one of these days…

UPDATE: Check it out! MeatShield just got picked as “Pick of the Week” at the Webcomic Alliance website! Woo Hoo!

Wow! Last week I asked you all what some of your most memorable in-game moments were and boy howdy, did you folks respond! This in turn has given me an idea….

CONTEST TIME!

In 250 words or less, tell us about the funniest in-game moment that has happened to you. It has to have happened to you, though – no stories of slaying a gazebo ;)The winner, chosen by me, will get a free 8″x 11″ sketch of the MeatShield character of their choice. The only caveat I will ask is for Canadian, Mexican and other international entrants to pony up the postage. I found out the hard way that sending a package of that size to Canada costs in the neighborhood of $14 US! Contest deadline will be October 25th, 2011.

The following limitations on the free sketch’s subject matter apply:

No nudity.
No drug references.
One character only.

Let the writing…. BEGIN!

~Rob

14 Comments

I had a beginning (1st level) human barbarian chase a 3rd level magic-user through the streets of the town he was in followed by the other two members of the party, a cavalier and a half-elven cleric/m-u. The reason he was chasing the m-u? Cavalier and barbarian were in their room, barbarian was snoring loud enough to resemble thunder. M-u next door pounds on wall, shouting for quiet. Cavalier shouts back, “Make us!” Two magic missiles come through the wall, a round later, the tip of the wand pokes through one of the holes. Cavalier grabs the tip and pulls, gaining wand. Says, “Barbarian, catch. MAGIC!” Barbarian wakes up in time to see wand sailing through the air to his side of the bed, and catches it, and breaks it in half! 1st ed. barbarians gain experience equal to the value of the destroyed magic item. Barbarian asked where did it come from. Cavalier points to wall and barbarian heads out of room to make m-u sushi. Cue Benny Hill’s chase music!

Sorry for postage fee last time…

Forgot to say that: Dhur is way better in orcish than in english.

Hold the phone! In panel 4,the wanted poster…looks very much like the dragon Frank from “The Legend of Bill”.
Coincidence?

Diplomacy over beer. If only all negotiations could be handled this way…..

Nice touch of the legend of bill wanted poster!

One of our DM’s rules for Chaos magic: a percentile dice roll when casting, and the results have a chance of altering the effect; low is not quite as powerful, and high adds a bit to damage (or whatever is appropriate).
My cleric took a level of Chaos wizard, and, the first time she cast Magic Missile, rolled a 100. DM says, “Your Magic Missile is now sentient. It squeals ‘I’m a Magic Missile’ as it zooms towards your target.”
The MM hung out with us, and as I gained levels, it would split into multiples when I cast the spell.
After I got high enough to get 5 missiles, I rolled another 100. DM says, “As your missiles hurtle towards your target, they merge into one very large missile, always maximized. It yells in a deep voice, ‘I AM A MAGIC MISSILE!'”

@Grimlock13: Don’t worry about it, I had no idea either 🙂
@harbinger: Mmmmmmmmmmaybe 🙂

sounds like good deplomacy to me

Funniest in-game story… hmm… hard to say. I guess it would be this one…

In one game, I was a DM, and I had one of the players ride a three-headed mule: with one head of a mule, one of Oprah, and one of rabid leprechaun. The first impulse one of our friends had was to shove his fist up the creature’s rear end to get to the leprechaun’s pot of gold. I told him to roll the 3-sided die, and if he got 2, he got it.
He rolled a 2.

So in order to perform his ‘Orccish Diplomacy Check’, does he have to multiply half is diplomacy roll times his constitution score to succeed or vice versa?

Hey everyone big fan thought I should share my story.

I was playing a 1st ed. adventure and the druid decided that he wanted a guard animal. Instead of getting a dog like anyone else he opts for a goose. Well aside from the difficulty in finding a live goose in a town once he bought it the thing got loose. There wasn’t much choice so we had to kill the thing since the goose was the druid’s idea he was the one to try and kill it. it was easy to hit the goose but the druid wanted to go show-boating the DM told him to roll the die…1. Failing like that not only caused him to look the fool but as he killed the bird he cut down the cabbage lady’s cart cover. This landed him a night in the jail house in a hobbit village, he’s a big guy. He decided to try and get out with the help or the prison rats. He tried to bribe the rats with cheese to get the cell’s keys resulting in every rat chanting “CHEESE KEYS, CHEESE KEYS” all night long.

OK, here’s my other one.

Another A&D Campaign, me playing another little elvish thief. This time, we were taking on Baba Yaga. After FOUR HOURS of game play, we got her. Probably all the beer we were consuming that evening didn’t help matters (well, we needed something to wash down the pizza with).

We managed to take her out. But all of our fighters had descended into negative hit points. All the clerics were out of healing spells to help them and were injured as well. I, the little elven thief who hid during most of the battle, was relatively undamaged, and had gained possession of an artifact from the Hut. An artifact with a wish.

“I will save you all!” I cried. The other players looked at me in trepidation.

“Don’t say anything!” one of them cried. “Write out your wish first, so we can read it before you say it out loud!”

“Shut up,” the GM said, “You’re all unconscious and besides, you aren’t even where she is.”

So, my head spinning with beer, adrenaline, and exhaustion (it was 1 AM at this point), I said:

“I wish everyone here was fully healed and at full abilities!”

Everyone groaned. I was confused. I had SAVED them!

The GM laughed evilly. “OK, everyone gets up, they’re all healed … including Baba Yaga. Roll for initiative!”

The group eventually managed to take her out again, after another titanic battle, and no one actually died.

But no one let me forget about that, EVER again.

D&D kgo. Back in my middle school, I was in a group with a bunch of people, and one of them was eh… not the best RPer. He was playing a ranger that had lived in the forest his entire life. The first thing he does? Goes into a bar and orders a drink. The DM warns him that there will be a penalty because the ranger has never had alcohol before in his life, and there is absolutely no point/motivation in doing this, but the player does it anyways and rolls a 3 on his fortitude check. The DM then states that the ranger goes outside and tries to screw a tree, landing him in jail for public indecency, meanwhile, the rest of the party is actually advancing the storyline relatively, which ends us up in a forest on the run from guards for supposedly burning down a caravan when we had been the people who tried to save it. Anyways, next morning, my character, a sorcerer iirc, was preparing his spells and discussing things with his familiar. The ranger, who had broken out of jail, proceeds to attack my character (waking up the rest of the party who had been sleeping nearby) on the grounds that 1. It was the party’s fault for landing him in jail and 2. I was talking to demons. He then proceeds to complain when the rest of the party kills him because “they attacked him for no reason.”

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MeatShield by Rob Chambers

Bi-Weekly D&D-style Fantasy Hijinks!

275 – I really have to learn Orcish one of these days…